In the film Moonstruck, the neglected wife of a successful but philandering plumber goes out one lonely night to the neighborhood ristorante, seeking only the nourishment of human company. She is approached by a charming college professor who, upon learning of her unhappy situation, propositions her. When she politely turns him down, he asks, “But why? Your husband is unfaithful to you!” With kind dignity she smiles at him and says, “Because I know who I am.”
In our Gospel story today, Jesus is tempted 3 times, but he was able to say “No” each time, because he knew who he was. And, thank God, he was faithful to who he was. The essence of each temptation that Jesus experienced was to not be true to himself, to be less than or other than who he really was.
That is also the essence of each temptation that we experience. Sure, temptations come to us in all kinds of packages and situations, but each one boils down to this: Are we going to be faithful to who we really are, to who God made us to be, or not?
I asked some of you to tell your stories about how you have been faithful in this way.
A woman shared that she was once tempted to leave the Church:
What comes to mind for me is a time when friends began to leave the Church for a number of reasons. They felt they had outgrown it, or they had experienced an isolated incident with someone that soured them, or they didn’t agree with this or that or many things. But they also had forgotten that Church was a community, a family. I very briefly wondered what I would do. I certainly had my arguments with the Church that seemed reasonable and justified – but the answer was NO – and the response from my heart was YES …. I wanted to share in the struggle and the challenge of building Church and wanted to be a part of the excitement of its growth and changes. I also could not forget that the Church was, and always will be, my refuge, a way station, a place on the journey where I can find nourishment and sustenance….We are held, healed, fed and celebrated by the life and love of a present and providing God and to this I continue to say YES!
Some of you mothers wrote about the sacrifices you’ve had to make to be good mothers. You’ve given up many things you wanted and needed so that your families could have more – of you.
As one mother said,
I guess I could feel bad about what I think I may have missed out on in life by giving up things or experiences, but I simply look into the eyes of my children and grandchildren and realize that I am truly blessed to be able to see through the clutter that life throws at us and realize what gift I have been given in this family. It is my children and grandchildren that have made me the best person I can be for them and, in turn, a fulfilled person for my husband and myself. Sometimes we look so hard for happiness in things, money, or other material items we miss the best part of life standing right in front of us.
What I have found is that in giving some things up, I can actually gain so much more.
Some of you wrote that you had to say “No” to things in your workplace. A woman wrote:
I was given the opportunity in our wonderful community to work with the elderly in assisted living. I loved working with the families and helping them and their family members who were in need of assisted living. I knew God had chosen this path for me and felt very strongly I was doing His work. Unfortunately, in time, it became very clear to me the company I was working for was more interested in money than the care of the people we were serving. I was asked to put profit ahead of people. I prayed to God, thanking Him for this wonderful opportunity. I apologized for what I was about to do, hoping I was making the right decision. I resigned my position, which included a very high salary & benefits package, in the midst of a recession. This was a heartbreaking decision for me. I loved my job!
I resigned on ethics & integrity. I knew God would provide for me and my children, for I walk in faith every day of my life.
A man wrote:
In my thirties, as a Sales Closer, I told a Time Share manager I would not force/coerce young couples (straight off the Florida beach) into signing up for time shares which I knew they could not really afford. The manager threatened immediate dismissal, and I threatened immediate FBI. We parted ways. I was learning to be stronger on behalf of myself and my fellow human beings. In my forties, I said ‘No” to an overbearing and controlling Father. At once my life began to look sharper; my vision and confidence was strengthening. Still, MOST importantly, I forgave him, and I grew a notch…forgiveness is definitely part of God’s way, In my fifties, I said “no” to a six-figure professional position in Silicon Valley. Saying no to the money meant I would have more time to be with my two very young children whom I love deeply. Now, in my early sixties, I must find that next “no”.
Make no mistake in this story. There were plenty of yes’s along the way to distract me; many replete with poor judgment and predictable negative outcomes.
I believe the life path — filled with yes and no events – leads to fine-tuning ourselves, when the will to do so is there.
The many “no’s” that we have to say to temptations in our lives are simply the shadows that help to define the light of who we truly are – children of God, like Jesus. The essence of each temptation, and the greatest temptation of all, is to say no to who we truly are.
As author Marianne Williamson puts it:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
This is what Jesus did, and this is what many of you are doing.
This Lent, as we spend our 40 days in the desert with Jesus, may Jesus give us the grace to discover, in the midst of temptation, who we really are, and may we, by the grace of God, become, more and more, the people that God made us to be.
