Many of you have seen the show TV Bloopers, they are hilarious. I have read about newspaper bloopers, how one word can change so much. I would like to share with you some parish bulletin bloopers. I think they are great!
Don’t let worry kill you – Let the Church help.
Thursday Night – Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
The service will close with “Little Drops of Water.” The cantor will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so.
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.
I started my homily this week with these because I have experienced so many people stressed, anxious, grumpy, mostly over getting ready for Christmas. This Sunday (formerly called Guadete Sunday – Rejoice) with its pink candle reminds us that no matter how dark it might be in our lives, that no matter how anxious or grumpy we might feel, for whatever reason, no matter how depressing the world situation might be – the light, the joy of God will never leave us. We need to hold on to this Good News and we need to rejoice today. We need to smile – we need to laugh – right in the face of hard times. Maybe this will help:
The late great humorist, Erma Bombeck, told the story of what happened to her in Church one Sunday…
“I was intent on a small child who was turning around and smiling at everyone. He wasn’t gurgling, spitting, humming, kicking, tearing the hymnals, or rummaging through his mother’s handbag. He was just smiling.
“Finally his mother jerked him about and in a stage whisper that could be heard in a littler theater off Broadway said, ‘Stop that Grinning! You’re in Church!’ With that, she gave him a belt and, as the tears rolled down his cheek, she added, ‘That’s better,’ and returned to her prayers. We sing, ‘Make a joyful noise unto the Lord!’ while our faces reflect the sadness of one who has just buried a rich Aunt who left everything to her pregnant hamster.
“Suddenly I was angry. It occurred to me the entire world is in tears, and if your not, than you’d better get with it. I wanted to grab this child with the tear stained face close to me and tell him about My God. The happy God. The smiling God. The God who had to have a sense of humor to have created the likes of us. I wanted to tell him he is an understanding God. One who understands little children who turn around and smile in church, and even curious little children who rummage through their mothers’ handbags. I wanted to tell that little child that I too have taken a few lumps for daring to smile in an otherwise solemn religious setting.
“By tradition, I suppose, one wears Faith with the solemnity of a mourner, the mask of tragedy. What a fool, I thought, this woman sitting next to the only sign of hope – the only miracle – left in our civilization. If that child couldn’t smile in church, where was there left to go?”
Let me close with this: There is an organization of business people who donate their time visiting hospitals – especially children’s hospitals. They go to these hospitals as working “Clowns” – here is a portion of their special prayer:
“Lord, as I stumble through this life, help me to create more laughter than tears, dispense more happiness than gloom, spread more cheer than despair. Never let me grow so big that I will fail to see the wonder in the eyes of a child, or the twinkle in the eyes of the aged. Never let me forget that I am a clown, that my work is to cheer people up, make them happy, and make them laugh. And in my final moment, may I hear you whisper, ‘When you made my people smile, you made me smile!’”
Finally, when you are going over your gift list, don’t forget these gifts:
1. The gift of laughter
2. The gift of a smile
3. The gift of joy brought on by a phone call, card, or a short visit
4. A sense of healthy humor
5. Giving a gift to ourselves – not to take ourselves too seriously.
With that in mind, what do you get when you cross a praying mantis with a termite? – A bug that says grace before it eats your house.
Thank you. (REJOICE)