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I had the privilege to be part of some weekends called Engaged
Encounters. On these weekends two married couples would share a great
deal about their married life with about thirty engaged couples. I listened
and learned a lot from these married couples. I was impressed with how
hard they worked at staying married.
On this weekend when we read about the marriage feast at Cana, I
would like to share with you two brief stories about two married couples
that also really touched me.
She fought bravely and valiantly, he always at her side. But after
eight years, cancer took her life. After the funeral, he was cleaning out
the drawer near her bed and found a piece of paper she had written. It
was a sort of love note. It looked a little like a schoolgirl’s daydream
note about the boy in the next row. Except that this note was written by
the mother of seven children, a woman who had been battling for her life
until the end. It was also a wonderful prescription for holding a marriage
together. This is how her note to her husband began. Loved. Cared.
Worried. Helped me when I was sick. Forgave me a lot of things. Stood
by me. Always complimentary. Provided everything I ever needed.
Warmth. Humor. Kindness. Thoughtfulness. Always there when I
needed you. And the last thing she wrote sums up all the other. Good
friend. He folded the paper and placed it in his wallet. Sometime later he
was talking to a friend about her. He showed him the paper. The friend,
a much younger man, was deeply moved by the note. The friend asked,
“How do you stick by someone through 38 years of marriage, let alone
the sickness too?” “How do I know I’d have what it takes to stand by a
wife if she got sick?” And he replied simply and quietly. “You will.” “If
you love enough, you will.”
A strong self-reliant ranch owner, who did not very often express
his emotions outwardly, had to rush his wife to the hospital. A ruptured
appendix. The ensuing operation was successful, but the woman’s’
condition deteriorated. Despite the blood transfusions and intensive care,
she continued to lose strength. The doctors were puzzled because by all
medical standards she should have been recovering. They finally were
convinced of the reason for her deterioration. She was not trying to get
well. The surgeon, an old family friend, went to her and said. “I would
think you would want to be strong for John.” She replied weakly. “John
is so strong he doesn’t need anybody.” When the doctor told the husband
what she had said, he immediately went into his wife’s room, took her
hand in his and said. “You’ve got to get well!” Without opening her eyes,
she asked, “Why?” He said, “because I need you.” The nurse who was
monitoring the blood transfusion said she noticed an immediate change
in the pulse beat and the blood pressure. Then the patient opened her
eyes and said, “John, that’s the first time you ever said that to me.” Two
weeks later she was home. The doctor commenting on the case said it
wasn’t the blood transfusion, but what went with it that made the
difference between life and death for that woman.
In closing, I would like to ask any married couple present here to
stand. I would like to thank you for the hard work you put into your
Sacrament of Marriage and I would like to offer you a special prayer of
Blessing for you both. God, you have called woman and man to become
“one flesh.” What a great sign of your love for us. Send your spirit, O
God, upon those today who passionately proclaim their love for each
other. May they always remember that the energy and power source of
their relationship lies in fidelity and commitment to you. May they
inspire all of us to pledge ourselves more deeply to our own promises,
and our own vows to live in love. May these two lovers dance to the
music of Christ. Amen.