I had the privilege to be part of some weekends called Engaged
Encounters. On these weekends two married couples would share a great
deal about their married life with about thirty engaged couples. I listened
and learned a lot from these married couples. I was impressed with how
hard they worked at staying married.
On this weekend when we read about the marriage feast at Cana, I
would like to share with you two brief stories about two married couples
that also really touched me.
She fought bravely and valiantly, he always at her side. But after
eight years, cancer took her life. After the funeral, he was cleaning out
the drawer near her bed and found a piece of paper she had written. It
was a sort of love note. It looked a little like a schoolgirl’s daydream
note about the boy in the next row. Except that this note was written by
the mother of seven children, a woman who had been battling for her life
until the end. It was also a wonderful prescription for holding a marriage
together. This is how her note to her husband began. Loved. Cared.
Worried. Helped me when I was sick. Forgave me a lot of things. Stood
by me. Always complimentary. Provided everything I ever needed.
Warmth. Humor. Kindness. Thoughtfulness. Always there when I
needed you. And the last thing she wrote sums up all the other. Good
friend. He folded the paper and placed it in his wallet. Sometime later he
was talking to a friend about her. He showed him the paper. The friend,
a much younger man, was deeply moved by the note. The friend asked,
“How do you stick by someone through 38 years of marriage, let alone
the sickness too?” “How do I know I’d have what it takes to stand by a
wife if she got sick?” And he replied simply and quietly. “You will.” “If
you love enough, you will.”
A strong self-reliant ranch owner, who did not very often express
his emotions outwardly, had to rush his wife to the hospital. A ruptured
appendix. The ensuing operation was successful, but the woman’s’
condition deteriorated. Despite the blood transfusions and intensive care,
she continued to lose strength. The doctors were puzzled because by all
medical standards she should have been recovering. They finally were
convinced of the reason for her deterioration. She was not trying to get
well. The surgeon, an old family friend, went to her and said. “I would
think you would want to be strong for John.” She replied weakly. “John
is so strong he doesn’t need anybody.” When the doctor told the husband
what she had said, he immediately went into his wife’s room, took her
hand in his and said. “You’ve got to get well!” Without opening her eyes,
she asked, “Why?” He said, “because I need you.” The nurse who was
monitoring the blood transfusion said she noticed an immediate change
in the pulse beat and the blood pressure. Then the patient opened her
eyes and said, “John, that’s the first time you ever said that to me.” Two
weeks later she was home. The doctor commenting on the case said it
wasn’t the blood transfusion, but what went with it that made the
difference between life and death for that woman.
In closing, I would like to ask any married couple present here to
stand. I would like to thank you for the hard work you put into your
Sacrament of Marriage and I would like to offer you a special prayer of
Blessing for you both. God, you have called woman and man to become
“one flesh.” What a great sign of your love for us. Send your spirit, O
God, upon those today who passionately proclaim their love for each
other. May they always remember that the energy and power source of
their relationship lies in fidelity and commitment to you. May they
inspire all of us to pledge ourselves more deeply to our own promises,
and our own vows to live in love. May these two lovers dance to the
music of Christ. Amen.
Archive for the ‘Ordinary Time’ Category
If You Love Enough 1-19-2025
Saturday, December 21st, 2024Make Sure To Keep Yourself In The Love Of God Today; The Rest Will Take Care Of Itself 11-17-2024
Tuesday, November 12th, 2024Introduction:
I have a wonderful memory growing up in a small valley town. I spent a
lot of time around the church; a lot of priests would visit our home for
dinner (mom a great cook). I remember a lesson I learned when the
topic of the end of time came up. A wise priest gave me good advice;
“Make sure to keep yourself in the love of God today – the rest will take
care of itself.
I believe there are three things we can do something about today;
1. How loving are our thoughts—right now in our life?
2. How loving are our words—right now in our life?
3. How loving are our actions—right now in our life?
First: our thoughts. How judgmental are we in our thoughts about
other people? Do we tend to pass judgment on them—judgment that is
often unkind and unfair?
There’s a Peanuts cartoon that shows Charlie Brown and
Linus standing side by side. Charlie is looking at a drawing of a
man that Linus has just made.
Charlie says to Linus, “I see you’ve drawn the man with his
hands behind his back. That shows you are insecure.
Linus replies, “I didn’t put his hands behind his back because
I am insecure. I did it because I can’t draw hands.”
That story makes us ask ourselves, “Do we tend to read into
situations? Do we tend to judge others recklessly, as Charlie did Linus
in that cartoon?
That brings us to our second point: our words or speech. Do we
use our speech to talk about the faults of others? Do we use it to gossip
about other people?
Perhaps you’ve heard the story about three church leaders – a
Catholic, a Protestant, and a Jew, all from the same town. They
decided to make a retreat together. In the course of their retreat,
they shared with each other one of their most embarrassing
shortcomings.
The Catholic priest said, “I must tell you both that I’ve been
gambling lately.”
The Jewish rabbi said, “And I must tell you both that I’ve
been gambling a lot lately.”
Finally, the Protestant minister said, “I must tell you both
that I can’t keep a thing to myself. I am an incurable gossip.”
That story makes us ask ourselves, “Do we use our speech to
gossip about others?”
That brings us to our third point: our actions.
Some years ago, nine physically handicapped people
successfully climbed Mt. Rainier in Washington State. One of the
climbers had an artificial leg. Another climber was an epileptic.
Two others were deaf, and five were blind.
In spite of the handicaps, the nine people negotiated the
14,000-foot mountain together, up and down, without accident.
When asked about the amazing feat, one of the blind
members of the party said simple, “We got a lot of help from one
another.”
That story makes us ask ourselves, “How much are we helping one
another in our mutual efforts to climb the mountain that leads to God
and heaven?
How prepared are we to meet Jesus at the end of the world?
How prepared are we to meet Him, right now, in just three areas of
our life?
First: our thoughts. Do we judge other people recklessly?
Second: our words. Do we talk about other people unkindly?
And finally: our actions. Do we turn our back on other
people’s needs?
If we aren’t doing too well in these areas now, what makes us think
we will do better in the future?
Let’s close with a prayer:
Lord, give us a mind that will think thoughts that are kind and fair.
Give us lips that will speak words that are true and charitable.
Give us hands that will do deeds that are modeled after the ones
you did for people in your own lifetime.
“Make sure to keep yourself in the love of God today—and the rest will
take care of itself”.
Thanks Givers 11-10-2024
Sunday, November 10th, 2024Two years before the signing of the Declaration of Independence, a
remarkable woman was born in New York City. Her name was
Elizabeth Bayley.
At the age of 20 she married a businessman named William Seton.
Neither she nor William was Catholic. In time the couple had five
children.
Then tragedy struck: William contracted tuberculosis.
William moved his family to Italy, hoping that the climate would
help him. But his illness was terminal. He died a few years later.
With the help of a generous Italian family, the Setons moved back
to the United States. The goodness of that Italian family led the young
widow to investigate the Catholic Church. Two years later she became a
Catholic.
Elizabeth’s relatives and friends were shocked. They virtually
disowned her, and she was forced to get a teaching job to support her
five children. To make a long story short, when the children came of
age, Elizabeth became religious and founded the American branch of the
Sisters of Charity. It was this order that pioneered the great Catholic
school system in America.
Elizabeth once told a friend, “I’d like to retire from the turmoil of
the world and lead a simple life of prayer, but God wants me to do
something else, and I must always choose God’s will over my own.”
Elizabeth died at the age of 46. In her lifetime she wasn’t a mystic.
She wasn’t a martyr. She was simply a widow who gave what she had
to God. She was simply a single parent who turned a tremendous
tragedy in her life – the loss of her husband and the rejection of her
family – into a spectacular gift to God and to the Church.
How fitting it was, then, that in 1975 Elizabeth Seton was
canonized the first American-born saint.
The story of this generous widow fits in beautifully with today’s
Scripture readings. For two of those readings are also about generous
widows.
The first reading concerns a widow who shared with the prophet
Elijah all the food she had to live on. The gospel reading concerns a
widow who gave to the Temple of Jerusalem all the money she had to
live on.
Like Elizabeth Seton, each of these two widows gave with the
same generous heart. Each had a perfectly legitimate reason to excuse
herself from giving, but each refused to exercise that excuse.
Like Elizabeth Seton, each knew that the important thing was not
what she had to give but the love with which she gave it.
Each knew that what counted in God’s eyes is not the size of the
gift but the size of the giver’s heart.
Someone once said that there are three kinds of givers: grudge
givers, duty givers, and thanks givers.
Grudge givers say, “I hate to give.” Duty givers say, “I ought to
give.” Thanks givers say, “I want to give.”
In other words, grudge givers give reluctantly and with a certain
feeling of resentment.
Duty givers give reluctantly too, but with a certain feeling of
obligation.
Thanks givers, on the other hand, give from the heart, without any feeling of resentment or obligation. The three widows are beautiful
examples of thanks givers.
They gave under no pressure.
They gave under no obligation.
They gave from the heart.
The stories of the three widows invite us to ask ourselves how we give.
Do we give grudgingly because we have to – because we will be
embarrassed or thought less of it if we don’t give?
Do we give dutifully because we feel obligated or required to do
so?
Or do we give thankfully because our love and our faith tell us to
give – just as the love and the faith of the widows told them to give?
Listen with me –
Let’s close with a brief meditation on God’s own generosity in
giving to us:
We ask for a flower, and God gives us a bouquet.
We ask for leaf, and God gives us a tree.
We ask for a drop of water, and God gives us an ocean.We ask for a grain of sand, and God gives us a beach.
We ask for a blade of wheat, and God gives us a wheat field.
We ask for something to eat, and we are given God’s own Life.
With God what counts the most – is not the size of the gift, but the size
of the giver’s heart
